Thursday, October 01, 2009

Daddy

A copy of my poem Daddy which I wrote back in 2005.

DADDY


LYING IN MY BED AT NIGHT
LISTENING TO MAKE SURE MY BABY IS BREATHING RIGHT
I GET TIRED BUT SLEEP IS HARD TO FIND
JUST FAR TOO MUCH SHIT RUNNING THRU MY MIND
I HEAR THE TRAFFIC OUSIDE, AS ITS PASSING BY
WISHING IT WOULD STOP THEN WONDERING WHY
I HAVE GOT BOTH MY WIFE AND SON CLOSE TO ME
I CANT UDERSTAND WHY SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO FLEE
MY LIFE IS THE WAY THAT ITS SUPPOSSED TO BE
A HOUSE, FAMILY, N A STATE OF THE ART TV
MONEY HAS NEVER REALLY BEEN A PROBLEM TO ME ANYWAY
IT WASNT A PROBLEM YESTERDAY AND WONT BE TODAY
BUT THEIR IS SOMETHING COMING FROM DEEP WITHIN
MAKING ME WANT TO GO AND COMMITT THE BIGGEST SIN
I CANT BEAR THE THOUGHT OF WHAT ONE DAY I WILL LOSE
SO I AM SERIOUSLY THINKING OF TYING MYSELF A NOOSE
MY WIFE AND BABY LOOK SO MUCH UP TO ME
WELL THEY WOULD AS I AM HEAD OF THE FAMILY
TAKING CARE AND PROTECTING MY LOVE ONES
SO THEY CAN HAVE NO WORRIES AND THEIR LIFE IS FULL OF FUN
I’M TRYING BUT I JUST CANT STOP THE WAY I FEEL
PEOPLE WONT SEE BUT MY PAIN IS REAL
WANT MY BOY TO REMEMBERS MY VOICE
WISH I HAD ANOTHER FUCKING CHOICE
HOPE HE GROWS AND LOOKS AFTER HIS MAMMA
AND NEVER THINKS OF ME HIS FAILED DADA!

Hope you like it,  I think it portrays what I was going through back then quite well.

Thank you and god bless,

Billy

4 comments:

steve said...

billly boy these really show how you were feeling emotionally anyway,sometimes your very alone, even with the ones you love
and then i can see you fighting back cos your not gonna let the others grind you down ,then theres another side of you that only shows up in small parts an thats the leader and winner in you ,this is good stuff billy boy ,got to be the poem daddy that kinda sticks ,its deep from within ,and tells it like it is , well done ,this is your good friend steve in case your wondering,

weebillymurray said...

I think it's about time I added music to this, will keep you posted on how I get on.

William Murray said...

Stevie i have just reread this poem and have suddenly been struck about exactly a decade after i had urgently and originally written it it is possibly even more significant now than even back then as my wife will have our second baby within the next week or so but i still feel very alone at times and that i am going to fail everybody but in an ever increasing number of days i am definitely celebrating and believing that i can fight back and beat these sentiments and overcome anything and everything that is and has and is going to come against me and i know even though it sometimes doesn't appear like it at the moment both my son and my new daughter(that's what my gut is telling me Joanna is going to have) will see and appreciate my wisdom and see me as a role model and as someone who always spoke the truth to them and only said things that came from the heart and who honestly never told them a lie or forced them to believe anything which they hadn't chosen to NY themselves and only ever tried to guide and lead them on the right path in life

William Murray said...

That should be chosen to by themselves